Title: Part 19- Back Where it All Began
Game/Show: Teen Titans
Characters/Pairing: Raven and Beast Boy
Disclaimer: Mature Themes (language and). I do not own Teen Titans or anything from the DC Universe.
Raven hugged herself as she looked out onto the calm blue water of the lake surrounding the Tower and her favourite spot, a rocky outcrop she had always thought of as their spot since the ‘Beast incident’. She shivered as a light breeze rushed through her, rustling her hair and chilling her through her purple shorts and sweatshirt as she looked down at her impractical bunny slippers. Vic had given them to her on her 20th birthday, a small gag gift to go along with the Teams bigger gift. Needless to say the bunnies were green, much to BB’s annoyance. After the club, she had teleported to the apartment to change out of her clothes that had smelt like him. Trying to sleep hadn’t been an options so she had gone to one of the few places where she felt safe. Home. She heard movement behind her and sighed as she was suddenly engulfed in warmth as BB put his leather jacket around her shoulders. Rae closed her eyes as she burrowed into the warmth and soaked in his scent. She didn’t really comprehend how much she had missed him during her self-imposed exile until he was in front of her and she had the chance to drink him in and suddenly felt like she was home.
She had been wrong. Her safe place had stopped being the Tower years ago. Now it was a person, not a place. It was him.
Rae pushed aside those thoughts as she partially turned to face him. She hoped they could now talk it out and get on as friends without the messy emotions getting in the way. Good luck with that! Raven ignored her emoticlones as they chorused as one inside her head.
“I thought you might come here.” They both sat in silence as they looked out at the view they had shared so many times before. Uncomplicated times where they had just sat here like they did now. Others times they had used it as their place to air grievances with each other, the Team or the world in general without having to worry about the others interrupting them.
“I think we should probably have this out once and for all.” BB started, not looking at her. “I know it wasn’t what you wanted to hear, but…” Rae was cut off by BB’s humourless chuckle. “That’s an understatement.” He muttered. He rubbed the back of his neck before he continued. “You have to understand, Rae. You’ve had most of the information from the start, I’m still playing catching up here. We went from best friends, to a night spent together in a hotel room that only one of us remembered, to Terra coming back into our lives and the pair of us starting up again, then you realise our night resulted in a pregnancy which again only one of us knew about, then a trap that ended in you miscarrying. Followed by questions on ‘who’s the father’, ‘why did Rae suddenly lose control of her powers’ and ‘where the fuck is she and why isn’t she coming home?’. Then I finally get some of the information, more than I was ready to handle honestly, and one of the only people who can give me some straight answers is nowhere to be found.”
Rae shifted deeper into his jacket, seeking comfort in his scent as he leaned forward and gripped his head in both hands. She wanted so badly to reach out and run her fingers through his hair, to comfort him, but she knew that that path lead only to pain when he eventually came to his senses and pushed her away.
“I think we need to talk this out from the beginning or I’m not sure how our friendship is going to survive.” His hands slid down the back of his head and gripped the back of his neck again, his muscles distracting her for a moment as they stretched his faded purple t-shirt. If they had to have this conversation, did he have to be so…hot?! Trying to repress her emotions was hard enough without adding his pheromones to the mix. “Where do you think we should start?”
He tilted his head to look her in the eyes. “Let’s start with that night. I’ve remembered a lot from then, but I admit that some things are still a little hazy. I remember you helping me to my room, and us making it inside. The next thing I remember is us in bed doing things I’m definitely never gonna forget again. How did we get from A to B?” Rae blushed as she turned her head away. Did he have to start off with that? She took a deep breath and started to fill in the blanks. He listened to her in silence, only interrupting to clarify this or that. She had to admit it was somewhat of a relief to get it all out in the open. She had told Vic and Kori, but telling the man himself was a little different. He at least had the decency to look ashamed when they got to the part where he called her Terra. “I’m sorry Rae. I know it doesn’t really mean much now, but when we were…I knew it was you. It was just in the moment between being asleep and awake my nose overruled my brain. I said something that hurt you and I’m sorry.” Rae didn’t realise until then but it was a relief to think he hadn’t been thinking of someone else when they created their child. If he wasn’t lying to spare her feelings.
“It’s ok Beast Boy, you don’t need to. I understand.” BB frowned at her. “So I reach for you and call you…her name, you get upset like you had every right to do. And…what happened next?” Rae told him about sneaking into the bathroom, her stealthy search of the room for her clothing, which he could apparently relate to, and her teleporting home with a false story to Vic about an assignment needing to be done. She told him what she did with the remaining body wash, which got a laugh out of him, and the morning after pill, which was met with a grim silence. She skipped the hot shower and luffa incident deciding that some things should go unsaid especially if she wanted to keep him as a friend after this. And she did.
“Then Terra came back, you two started up where you left off and now here we are.” BB gave her a long look, waiting for her to continue. When she stayed silent he didn’t let it go. “I think you missed a giant part in the middle there Rae.” She shifted, causing a new wave of his scent to fill her senses. She was tempted to give the black leather jacket back but it was like a security blanket for her, it gave her strength to have this conversation with him. “I avoided being too near to you. I was worried that you’d get a whiff of my scent and it would dislodge whatever was blocking your memories. It hurt that you didn’t remember but I knew it would be worse if you felt awkward around me over a drunk one-nighter. Then I stumbled across you and Terra counting each other’s fillings with your tongues and it just confirmed for me that the best decision was to stay silent. You had another chance to have a relationship with the woman you loved and I wasn’t going to damage that because we got drunk and had sex. A few months went by and I started to feel a sick when I smelt certain scents, like coffee when I was having lunch with Garth. If he hadn’t pushed me to see a doctor. I’m not sure how far along I would have been before I would have noticed myself. My powers have usually helped me heal myself and anything too big for me to handle myself I had the med-bay to help heal me. After I found out, I was determined not to tell you.” She held up her hand when he was about to say something in protest.
“Let me get this out, or I might never get the courage to tell you the whole truth again. When I found out I was pregnant, after the shock wore off, I was…terrified. Here I was; a pregnant superhero all alone with a baby on the way and no family outside our Team. I knew if I told you about the baby being yours, you’d do what you would see as the ‘right thing’ and I didn’t want that for you or our child. You and Terra were happy and I didn’t want to ruin it for you and I didn’t want our child to blame itself in the future for you not being able to be with the woman you loved. I was telling you the truth when I said I wasn’t built for traditional relationships. I’m half-demon, my emotions cause my powers to become unstable, and I killed our baby. Anything other than a strictly physical relationship is completely out of the…”
Rae stopped talking when she realised BB was staring at her with his mouth open. “How could you possibly think that?” She looked at him, perplexed. His reaction to her future ‘relationships’ was more than slightly confusing. “Why? You know how much it hurts when relationships go bad so it can’t be that surprising that I’d forgo it all together for a friends with benefits arrangement.” His jaw snapped shut, and she could swear she could hear him growling under his breath.
“Not that. How could you think that you killed our child?” Rae wrapped his jacket more firmly around her. “We’re getting off topic here. We were discussing how when I found out I was pregnant and decided not telling you was the best course of action for everyone.” She definitely heard him growl this time. “You didn’t think I should get a say in what kind of role I played in our child’s life? And explain why you think you are responsible for our child’s death.”
“Actually we’re at the part where I decided that if I was going to keep the baby, I’d have to quit the Titans.” Raven leaned back as he shot up. “You WHAT?!” She refused to flinch as he towered over her, his breath coming out in short pants as he started to run his hands through his hair as he paced back and forth across the roof. “I decided that I couldn’t keep running into danger when there was someone who relied on me solely for support. A plan I should have put into motion a lot sooner. It wouldn’t have been right to not be a Titan and still take up a room in the Tower so I was considering renting an apartment in the city where I could raise my child and still be close enough to see the team whenever I could.” BB was still pacing; Rae was actually a little worried he’d start pulling his hair out so she continued.
“It was after Wally’s 21st that I decided that I wasn’t being fair and that I had to tell you. I tried but I just couldn’t get past the point you just made: the baby was yours too and you should have a say in how he or she would be raised. And there was every likelihood that it would favour you in either appearance or powers and how would I explain that away? There aren’t many green people who can change into animals on Earth. I was trying to figure out how to tell you when… Slade captured us, set up his own sick little loyalty experiment, I killed our baby, ended up in hospital, came home, was steadily poisoned with fear serum which caused my powers to go wonky and gave me nightmares. Which led to me almost destroying the Tower and my family along with it and then I ran. Now here I am; back where I started 8 months after the fact with a psycho after me. That’s about it, Beast Boy, anything I missed?”
Just one or two things. BB was having trouble trying to wrap his mind around all the information being thrown at him at once. Too. Much. Information. Brain. CRASHING! BB ignored the voice in his head. He decided to start with the least painful first. “Terra isn’t around anymore; you don’t have to keep calling me ‘Beast Boy’.” It was something in the way her gaze shot to his and then darted away that made him think it might not have been Terra’s presence that had made her drop his nickname. “What are you talking about, I’ve always called you Beast Boy.” Lie. BB didn’t need the Beast to tell him that, but either way he had to figure out what was going on and what Rae thought she had to hide from him. Didn’t she know she could tell him anything? Thinking back over their recent history he realised their relationship was slightly more one-sided than he had realised. Sure, he had done everything he could to help her through the ‘Malchior Incident’ but since then he had been the one to rely on her more than she relied on him. That stopped now.
“No you haven’t, you know that. You started calling me BB after Terra came back and, to be honest, it kind of bugged me. You are the only person who ever calls me Gar, then all of a sudden you started calling me BB instead. Dick said it might be because Terra didn’t know my birth name but something tells me that isn’t exactly the case, is it?” He knew by the way she refused to meet his gaze and looked out over the city at the setting sun that he had hit a nerve. But which one? He continued to stare at her, willing her to tell him why she had dropped the endearment which had been solely hers. She sighed and rubbed between her eyebrows. BB had to stop himself from wrapping her in his arms until she felt better. He played with frayed strands of fabric near the strategically placed hole in the knee of his jeans, waiting for her to speak. “I didn’t want you to remember.” His gaze clashed with hers, her violet eyes saying more than she probably realised. “What do you mean?”
She looked back at the sunset. “When we were…together that night, I didn’t call you Beast Boy or BB I called you Gar and I didn’t want you to remember so I stopped using the nickname. That and it seemed weird to call you Gar when you were with Terra. It felt wrong.” BB went through his fractured memories of that night and agreed she had definitely said Gar a number of times, and Garfield. “You’re right. When I started to remember, I realised that it couldn’t have been Terra because she always calls me BB. She wouldn’t know to call me Gar or Garfield, almost no-one does except Rita and you.” BB looked at her and realised how pretty she was when she blushed. “I know.” He forced his mind away from the many ways he could probably make her blush and tried to focus on what she had said. “You know what?” If possible, her face went even redder. “The whole team knows she calls you BB when you were… You really need to check to make sure you’ve closed your door properly if you’re going to get that loud again.”
It took a minute for her words to sink in but when they did she wasn’t the only one who was blushing. Sex-talk with the guys was one thing. Discussing the sex-life you had with your ex with the woman you desperately wanted to be the only one from now on was very different. “Oh.” Rae snickered and he was so happy to hear the sound his heart almost beat out of his chest. It was the first time since she came back when he could actually imagine they could be ok after this. It gave him the courage to keep pushing.
“Why do you think you killed our baby?” Rae’s small smile dropped from her face and she curled into his jacket as if to protect herself. When she didn’t answer, BB decided to push a bit harder. As afraid as he was of her running again, having her say something like that and seemingly believing it completely was something he couldn’t let go. “Rae, I can’t imagine what you must have gone through when you found out you were pregnant. But I know you. There is almost nothing you wouldn’t do to protect the people you care about, and our baby was lucky enough to be one of those people. Slade put you in an impossible situation; he made you choose between the life you had and people that you called family, and the life we both know you have always wanted deep down. Slade killed our baby, not you, and if I had to make the choice you did I would have done the same thing.” BB put his left index finger under her chin and lifted her face so he could look her in the eyes and make sure she listened to every word he was saying. It almost broke him when he saw the unshed tears clinging to her lower lashes. He brushed his thumb over her cheek and gave her a small smile. An idea suddenly struck him and he pulled out the chain that hadn’t left his possession since he had gotten it back from the hotel.
Raven gasped as she realised he was holding her anklet. “I thought I had lost it…” She stopped talking when he gave her his crooked grin. “I told you, the hotel sent it back to me. Though I think it wants to be back where it belongs.” Gar pulled off her left bunny slipper and gently wrapped the delicate chain around her ankle and secured it in place. Rae’s breath sped up when he didn’t remove his hand, instead making a slow warm path up her calf. She stifled the annoyed twinge when he pulled his hand away to reach into his pocket. “And, I thought this might be a good time to give you your birthday present.” Rae looked at him, puzzled. “My birthday was months ago, and you didn’t need to get me…” Rae gasped as he pulled a dark blue jewellery box out of his pocket and opened it for her. Nestled on the pale cream casing was a silver heart half the size of her thumb. On the front was a compass rose surrounded by swirls. Gar picked up the locket, put down the box and moved behind Rae on her perch so he could put the necklace on her himself. Rae tried to blame the breeze for the shiver that went through her when he moved her hair out of the way and clicked the locket in place. She picked up the locket and opened it. She smiled at the miniature photo of her family, all 5 of them on the couch in the Tower celebrating Dick’s 21st if memory served. They had had to cut the party short when Mumbo Jumbo had tried to make the money in Jump City Bank disappear. The photo was of all of them slightly beat-up and smiling over another victory.
“I wanted to give you something so that if you decide you want to leave after this is all over, you’ll always have a part of us with you.” Rae’s smile grew bigger. “Corny, but sweet. Typical you Gar.” He chuckled against her neck as he wrapped his arms around her. They sat like that for a few minutes, just looking out at the lake. Rae had almost drifted to sleep in his arms when a loud chorus of beeps caused Gar to curse under his breath. “Every time.” Rae giggled as Gar opened his communicator to show Dick. “Where did you two disappear to? I made excuses for you to your friends Rae, but Tamsin said you owe her one.” Rae cringed when she remembered why they had been at the club in the first place. “Sorry Dick, I got… who’s causing trouble this time?” Dick gave them a small smirk but continued without commenting. Yet. “Control Freak is wreaking havoc at the Megaplex, and he has Dr.Light as back-up. It’s going to take the four of us to take them both down. Rae, since BB’s communicator says you’re at the Tower, Titans East will be on bodyguard duty tonight. Is that alright with you?” Rae nodded, a little sad that they had seamlessly moved into a foursome without her. “I’ll suit up and meet you there. Beast Boy out.” Gar hung up and looked at her. “We haven’t finished our talk.” Rae smiled at him, pulling his jacket closer around her. “The city comes first.” She stood and moved towards the tower as Gar morphed into a hawk to fly up to his room and change.
“OK, who’s up for ‘It Came From Down Below’?” Speedy held up the dvd and held a bowl of butter popcorn close to his side as he moved into the com-room. “Again? Really? Isn’t there any other movie we can watch, or will it damage your delicate manliness to watch something else?” Bumble Bee complained from the couch as Speedy dropped down near her, setting the bowl between them. “I’m up for anything as long as it isn’t ‘Jaws’ again. I’m sick of being asked “Do you know that fish? How ‘bout that one?” Aqualad stated from where he was sitting on the ground near the coffee table. Choosing seating positions sometimes got brutal when you were a part of Titans East so he wisely stayed out of the ruckus. “What do you think Raven? You’re more or less the senior titan here, what do you want to watch?” Rae’s head shot up as she re-joined the conversation. She had been lost in thought as she gazed at the locket he had bought her. “I’m sorry, what?” Bee smiled as she exchanged a look with Speedy. “Give the girl a break, she’s got a new shiny to admire. I vote for Shawshank.” Rae ignored Bee’s digs and looked around her old home. She hadn’t been back here since she came back to the city. It hadn’t really changed much even with her impromptu renovations. Looking around, Rae noticed that not all of Titans East were present. “Where are the twins?” Bee glared at Speedy before answering. “They’ve started to take after horn-boy and probably won’t be back until 2am at the earliest. Those two have found a new appreciation for partying since he took them under his wing.” Speedy held up his hands in surrender. “They’re young, they deserve to live a little. Plus, this isn’t our town so it adds a bit of anonymity. We all deserve to let off some steam every once in a while.” Aqualad shook his head as he put the horror dvd into the disc drive. Rae floated over next to Bee, levitating the popcorn into her lap in the process. “Seniority” she said when Speedy complained. They all settled in to watch the movie, not taking any notice when their eyelids began to feel heavy and they all fell asleep.
Control Freak was calling out his usual “You haven’t seen the last of me!” threats as the police bundled both him and Dr.Light into the back of one of their vans to transport them to lockup. “Another night, another bad guy crashing our party.” Cy sighed as they watched the van disappear into the distance. BB wasn’t really listening as he checked his phone for any texts. “Looking for something in particular?” BB quickly put his phone away at Nightwings question. Instead of prying further, NW just smirked and headed over to the car where Cy was waiting. “Friend Beast Boy, may I enquire whether the gift you asked my assistance in purchasing was well received?” Going over her question again, putting a Starfire to English filter on it BB smiled and nodded at the alien who managed to squeal, fly upwards and spin in mid-air all at once. “Glorious! My heart is lighter knowing you and she have made a step forward in your relationship.” BB just kept smiling as he avoided his other friends questioning looks and got in the car so they could all go back to the Tower. Deciding to use his time on the car ride back to the Tower effectively, BB decided to call Raven. Make the first move. He unlocked his phone and dialled her number. He watched the city speed by as the phone continued to ring. When it rang off the first time he shrugged and dialled again. When it happened the third time he started to worry. When it happened the 5th time he was in full-on panic mode. “Guys, I can get a hold of Raven. Something’s wrong.” Cy looked at him in the rear-view mirror. “You sure she’s just not avoiding you?” BB shook his head. “No, we were talking together when the alarm went off. We were good. Better than good actually, but either way she would have answered just to tell me to get fucked. I’m telling you something doesn’t feel right.” Dick didn’t say anything, just motioned for Cy to go faster as the Tower came into view as they rounded the bend to their secret entrance to their island.
Not able to sit still, BB tapped his foot incessantly as Cy drown down the dimly lit tunnel under the lake that very few people knew about. Coming to the garage under the Tower where they stored all their mission and everyday vehicles, BB didn’t let the car come to a stop before he rushed out of his seat and hammered the elevator button. “Friend, I’m sure she merely had her phone on silent while she rests.” Star’s hand came to rest on his shoulder, but BB was too keyed up to take any comfort from it. The elevator doors just started to open as he quickly slipped inside and almost broke the button to take them up to the com-room. He ignored the worried looks his friends gave him as the elevator ascended, far too slowly for BB’s nerves.
The elevator wooshed to a stop and BB was the first one out the door. He nearly ran to the com-room and took in the familiar scene before him. The Titans East Team, minus the twins, were all asleep of the dvd menu for ‘It Came From Down Below’ playing on a loop on the TV. The only evidence that something wasn’t right was the fact that none of the sleepers woke up when Dick flipped the lights on. Puzzled, Cy gently started to shake Bee’s arm, before a look of panic crossed his face and he started to shake her harder. BB realised they weren’t asleep; they were knocked-out. He did a quick visual sweep before giving up and running through the rest of the Tower as a cheetah in search of the mysterious beauty that had been in the other Teams care. He had just completed a full sweep of the Tower and come up with no sign of her when he retreated back to the com-room where Cy had managed to wake up the others. “What the hell is going on? Why do I feel like that time I went to Mexico with…never mind.” Speedy groaned as he held his head in his hands. “Where is she?” BB stood in front of them, trying hard to stop his hands from shaking as he looked from one confused face to the next. “Where’s who BB?” Bee asked as Cy scanned her using the medical scanner built into his arm. “Where’s Raven? You know, the woman you were supposed to be guarding when you all decided it was nap time?!” Titans East looked at each other and then at him. “Nap? What are you talking about? You’ve only been gone 5 minutes. Did you guys forget something or…?” Cy looked worried as his scanner beeped. “We’ve been gone for nearly two hours, Bee. And according to this there is Propofal in all your systems, which would explain the memory loss and why you were unconscious when we got back, but not how it got into your systems in the first place.” Now that Cy mentioned it, BB was starting to feel a little drowsy himself, and so was Dick if his slight swaying was any indication.
“This doesn’t…tell us..wheeere…Raaaaven…” BB struggled to keep his eyes open but he knew something was wrong. “Friend? What is happening to you? Cyborg, I think Beast Boy and Nightwing are also being effected! Cyborg?!” A sudden large crash made BB’s eyes’ shoot open as Star blew a large hole in one of the windows facing the bay. “Star? I don’t know what...” Dick put on his re-breather and moved shakily towards one of the terminals along the wall and brought up a few screens. A large whooshing sound later and suddenly BB’s head felt a lot clearer. Dick took the re-breather out of his mouth and faced his confused teammates. “Someone pumped the room full of Propofal to knock you out, probably so they could take Raven with the least amount of fuss. Now that I’ve sucked all of the contaminated air out, we should be ok. What I still can’t figure out is who is doing this or why?”
“Maybe I can answer those questions for you.” They all turned as one to face the large screen taking up a large window panel in the middle of the T. BB tried to repress the animalistic growl reverberating in his chest as Star gasped behind him. A hooded figure stood behind an altar. On the alter was an unconscious but seemingly unharmed Raven. The figure pulled back his hood and smiled at them. BB let loose the growl and took a step towards the screen as he heard Cy mutter behind him.